When I was wolf ~ a true story

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Postby Syreeta » Mon May 02, 2016 9:11 pm

in the woods I became a wolf

I became both the hunted and the hunter

There was little human left in me at all

It was kill or be killed

And these Demons and Angels to be faced

Both fearsome, and both needing to be embraced with love as part of self

But also many external, not self at all

It was long, hard, exhausting

And alone

I was marked , feral and wild

It was horrific and beautiful all in one


My body fell apart and I buried some of my spine in the trees

I took a thousand journeys and lived a thousand lives


The humans kept away as if an invisible barrier, most of the time

Confronting to be around this energy unless allready knowing of the deep darks

I learned alot about people

and I can never ever forget that most will turn away from suffering

So I chose not to have those people in my life closely


I take life seriously and not seriously at all

I can't play the game so well, I can't be bothered

What I experienced could fill many books and it was the most beautiful time

I felt my atoms blasted into nothing and everything

I once travelled a worm hole

I once visited shambhala and was given a steaming bath in the valleys

The monks chants heard deep in my bones from the misty hills

A phoenix landed on my outstretched hand

I can still feel its claws lightly there

And yet I was in pain

it took ten days extreme pain to 'get me there'

ten days rocking on the floor in agony that was and still is barely comprehensible

a candle, mantras,the tenth night I was in those hills and it was real , no delusion

I'm not the same and my particles still are in flux

I wish I could express the beauty

I wish it wasnt that I came back and the humans were not


they didnt want to know the beauty, they only saw the broken

and they expected the betrayal to be forgotton

and for me to be human again

well I 'm not

and thats my pain

so i stay half in half out

I was in the world

but i came back to the woods

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Postby Syreeta » Mon May 02, 2016 9:12 pm


the woods

p.s....its just prose, the writing above this post ^, drawing from my past, not polished, it came up again from a dream last night...and I am back in the world, and it is going well..:)

I still have the woods in me, the wolf in me.
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Postby ravenrussell » Tue May 03, 2016 7:04 am

Beautiful prose. Love the phoenix in your hand part. From the title, I expected more ferocity. Polish this one up, however you see fit, and I expect great things. Brilliantly formed.
Peace to all.
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Postby Syreeta » Tue May 03, 2016 10:01 am

yep!!! .i hear you Raven...and thankyou for being so unjustifyingly kind;) .its actually rough as hell, just a note really of my real life experience,...part of a long journey I draw upon and I wouldnt usually share something publicly, so unformed, but ..I'm cool with works in progress being seen also ...its like seeing the workings of a 'problem' on a big board and not just the beautiful end 'solution'...like life, often the 'workings' have merit...the 'mess' and the 'mistakes'

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