Phara's Salon

[Whisky_Tango_Foxtrot]

Aw, now I'm crying!! It's the good tears!

[Phara]

GOOD TEARS FOR THE WIN...

LADIES, I'M ANNOUNCING IT IN HERE FIRST. ALICE IS BACK IN STAFF AND HOLDING ADVISOR STATUS. WE ARE NOT LETTING HER GO EVER.

[BriarRose]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't even be here. I don't deserve to come in and vent to you guys when I'm so selfish. Phara just told me to and I didn't know what else to do.

You should ABSOLUTELY be here; this is home, this is sacred, this is exactly where you go when life happens, good, bad or ugly. I know I speak for every lady ninja (and probably all the community ninjas) when I say we've got you and you've got this. Virtual vibes and hugs headed your way through the ether...hang in there lovely!

[Phara]

and this is how a shit day gets turned around completely

[3:44:53 PM] AliceElite: Thank you.
[3:45:04 PM] Phara:
[3:45:08 PM] Phara: how are you feeling
[3:45:26 PM] AliceElite: tired.
[3:45:48 PM] Phara: embrace empowered
[3:45:56 PM] Phara: strangers registered with zero posts to respond to you
[3:46:00 PM] Phara: that's how strong your reach is
[3:46:02 PM] Phara: not mine
[3:46:03 PM] Phara: yours
[3:46:09 PM] Phara: it was my call but your pain
[3:46:10 PM] AliceElite: But the "i'm worthless and a failure and i'll never work in politics again" is switching to "Jesus Fucking Christ I did a lot with no real training or experience while being housing insecure and having a 4 year old and no car and all the challenges in me."
[3:46:18 PM] Phara: YES
[3:46:23 PM] Phara: THAT'S IT WOMAN
[3:46:28 PM] AliceElite: And I have people who support me AND SEE THAT TOO.
[3:46:31 PM] Phara: which is what I was saying to ben in a much less gorgeous way
[3:46:33 PM] AliceElite: THAT IS NOT ME MAKING EXCUSES FOR MYSELF
[3:46:38 PM] AliceElite: THAT IS A REAL STRUGGLE.
[3:46:41 PM] Phara: yes it is
[3:46:50 PM] Phara: you need to get off fb lexi
[3:46:55 PM] Phara: or use it in conjunction with ninja
[3:47:04 PM] Phara: it allows people to wallow, me included
[3:47:05 PM] AliceElite: And now I can take the time I need, work part time, do my shit.
[3:47:07 PM] Phara: ninja reminds you of who the fuck you are
[3:47:09 PM] AliceElite: Join the socialist party.
[3:47:10 PM] Phara: you are queen
[3:47:11 PM] AliceElite: WRite.
[3:47:13 PM] Phara: EXACTLY
[3:47:30 PM] Phara: you want back into biz or what?
[3:47:36 PM] AliceElite: Like, I've worked FUCKING HARD my whole goddamn life and now I'm gonna take a break and DO ME.
[3:47:39 PM] AliceElite: I WILL DO ME.
[3:47:41 PM] Phara: feel like taking on advisor status or am I going to see you on fb but not evo
[3:47:51 PM] Phara: WHAT DO YOU WANT
[3:48:04 PM] AliceElite: Haha, I want to jump pack in head first but I also don't want this to be temporary.
[3:48:13 PM] Phara: so don't make it temporary
[3:48:19 PM] Phara: you are stronger than your laziness
[3:48:24 PM] Phara: that's what I'm saying to myself all the time these days
[3:48:40 PM] AliceElite: I want in, but I wanna make sure I'm really in. Give me a week trial and next weekend if I've been on my shit I'd love to get back in.
[3:48:56 PM] Phara: ok, you want in to biz for a week trial or you want advisor as a week trial
[3:49:01 PM] Phara: you can have both
[3:49:05 PM] Phara: and it can be one week probation
[3:49:11 PM] Phara: but don't disappoint yourself
[3:49:14 PM] Phara: power through this shit
[3:50:22 PM] Phara: the more I isolate. the more I fuck myself
[3:50:46 PM] Phara: girl you've seen all the issues between me and anna. but we fuckin love eachother stupid hard. you ever see that woman leave biz?
[3:50:54 PM] Phara: she knows damn well what helps her wake up
[3:51:37 PM] AliceElite: True. Yeah, I'll take a week probation.
[3:51:54 PM] AliceElite: Is advisor some mini-biz stuff? what's up with advisor now?
[3:52:12 PM] Phara: it means you don't have to get screamed at by me for not handling shit
[3:52:14 PM] Phara: just yelled at
[3:52:37 PM] Phara: lol, it means you don't have to run the comps but you should be a super lit
[3:52:39 PM] Phara: feel me?
[3:52:49 PM] AliceElite: LOL OKAY.
[3:52:53 PM] Phara: advisors lead by example
[3:52:58 PM] Phara: that's how I view them
[3:53:05 PM] AliceElite: Yeah I wanna start there.
[3:53:07 PM] Phara: good
[3:53:09 PM] AliceElite: I wanna earn my way back into biz.
[3:53:17 PM] Phara: oh I was just about to pull you in
[3:53:21 PM] Phara: no biz just yet?
[3:53:36 PM] Phara: bitch earn your way back to blue
[3:53:39 PM] Phara: you can be in biz
[3:53:45 PM] AliceElite: Okay, yeah, I'll earn my way back to blue.
[3:53:48 PM] Phara: anna is advisor now
[3:54:01 PM] Phara: its not impossible or anything that cant transition back to blue
[3:54:03 PM] Phara: perfect
[3:54:08 PM] AliceElite: Yeah, def.
[3:54:10 PM] Phara: cool

[AliceElite]

Spoiler: show

I'd like to share my favorite mantra >>> Rejection is Protection <<<

This mantra has helped with interpreting experiences that seem to be devastating on the surface and, instead, consider the ways that light and positivity are present. What I really mean here is, fuck that job. It could be that this is giving you the opportunity to pursue something better/more fulfilling. Or, this could be a chance to (re)consider how you dedicate your precious and finite energy.

Please know how loved you are here, even from lurkers like myself. I hope youre able to get on a path that is driven by your true passions and not the demands of others.

Totally here for you. Like, for real Lena

I just want to say that I am feeling this REALLY HARD right now. Like, maybe this demotion is REALLY in my best interests, I need to take time and find me. I was just telling Hana that like now I can take the time to do me like I've wanted to. I can work with them part time on this issue I care about if I want but I can also explore what else is best for me. If this wasn't it, that's okay - I need to respect that in myself.

Spoiler: show

WHY THE FUCK SHOULDNT YOU BE IN HERE? THAT SHIT MADE ME ALMOST AS ANGRY AS YOUR SHIT JOB.

YOU ARE NINJA LEGEND AND NINJA THROUGH AND THROUGH AND YOU ARE STRUGGLING AND WE ARE ALWAYS HERE.

NEVER EVER THINK THAT THIS COMMUNITY WOULD TURN ITS BACK. WE ALL HAVE TO CURL UP AND CRY ONCE IN AN WHILE, QUEEN MORE THAN ANYONE. I'M HERE AND I'LL BE BACK FOR LESS CAPS LOCK IN 15.

1. There are no felonies on your record.

2. you have me and candee and a few others as references, you need to add the magazine to your resume and print that shit out

3. your writing has always made you feel better... embrace it and put your hurt and rage into your poetry and your stories.

4. evolution main will be coming up soon and you should be an integral part of it considering your talent. whether that shit puts food on the table is irrelevant. it will help your soul which will help the new job search.

5. every single one of us, especially me, has this insane block with ninja where we think if we can't come in with a wall of text or something life changing.. it means we arent' doing enough and we don't deserve to be here. FUCK THAT. post in banter for the rest of your life for all i care. put down emojis for all i care. but show your presence. your fam is here and this is your home.

6. you are an incredible mother... but honestly lexi... you are an incredible activist... i just need you not to let this world steam roll you out of your beliefs. And that piece of shit job was just another non profit with an agenda for it. redirect your rage, redirect your desire for good, redirect your angst for change.

7. embrace perspective. Misery is arbitrary yes, and sometimes our own world can be choking... but... you have your health, your son, you ex is still all over your dick and a good father... you have fam that took you in physically when you were down (no matter how annoying they are) .... BREATHE BITCH.

YOU GOT THIS.

Phara yelling at me makes me feel better. I have opportunities. I have potential. I have resources. I'm breathing. Thank you.

Spoiler: show

[2:58:32 PM] z0mbie: Can you tell her from me that i know 100% what she is feeling and to go with the shitty feelings for the moment because at a time like this, falling so far.. there will be a springboard at the bottom that will present itself to her and she will see the cracks of light on the way back up.. and when she has taken that time to settle with their decision will they show themselves and she can re-invent her life and construct herself to be the hero of her own movie[/quote]

I really do think there's a springboard down here, truly - I think this is an opportunity to take time and reorient. To take time and readjust. FIgure out where I want my precious energy being spent. I work hard and I am smart as fuck, my energy is WORTH SOMETHING and this is a way for me to leap into whatever deserves that.

Spoiler: show

Ok warning I will edit and add to this post several times...cause I'm Ninjaing at work...
So, I see two areas we can talk about...and unfortunately they don't always coexist harmoniously...Let's focus on Self-preservation with your current job and then we will talk about keeping your eyes open and pushing the next opportunity...

Yeah, I think that like self-help and self-care needs to take primary focus - I've done A LOT and gone through A LOT and given A LOT to this campaign and now maybe I just need to give back to myself before I can find the next thing.

Spoiler: show

I hate that you're feeling this way Alice. We're here for you. You have so much more value than just what you do for a paycheck.

I like define myself by my work so it's so, so validating to hear "you're more than your paycheck". Thank you. So simple, and i really needed it.

Spoiler: show

Girl you're in the right place. We have you my cell is 215 526 8701. If you ever need to vent I'm here. I don't know how I can help just yet but if you tell me what you need I'll help in any way I can. We're your support system all across the world. I jumped as soon as I saw the link to this & I'll always jump for you guys. Just let the tears flow & then get back to being a badass. U have a team of strong bitches behind you. U can conquer this. I promise

Thank you so much. I haven't been here in months and logging in, venting, and having this community rally FOR ME has been eye opening. Truly. Thank you, you're so right. I have a team of strong bitches and I AM A STRONG BITCH.

Spoiler: show

You should ABSOLUTELY be here; this is home, this is sacred, this is exactly where you go when life happens, good, bad or ugly. I know I speak for every lady ninja (and probably all the community ninjas) when I say we've got you and you've got this. Virtual vibes and hugs headed your way through the ether...hang in there lovely!

It feels so good to still be included in this space and to have people coming out for me here. You have no idea. Thank you.


You ALL mean so much to me, so much, and I hope I didn't miss any posts through tears or idiocy.

I'm going to move down to part time with the campaign as an entry level employee, hourly. I'll be giving up my status and my salary. BUT - I'll be getting free time, and I will still be here to see this through to the end on a campaign that I truly believe can bring change. I will work two days a week and take the other time to sort my shit out. Set myself a facebook limit. Work on my writing. Work on this community. Figure out what I want to do going forward. Maybe that's campaign work in the future when my personal life isn't so crazy. Maybe it isn't. And either way, that'll be okay. I'll be okay.

[AliceElite]

I cannot understate how much it means to me to have these people old AND NEW come and rally for me. Jesus Christ, I'm gonna work to deserve this.

I LOVE YOU

[BriarRose]

You ALL mean so much to me, so much, and I hope I didn't miss any posts through tears or idiocy.

I'm going to move down to part time with the campaign as an entry level employee, hourly. I'll be giving up my status and my salary. BUT - I'll be getting free time, and I will still be here to see this through to the end on a campaign that I truly believe can bring change. I will work two days a week and take the other time to sort my shit out. Set myself a facebook limit. Work on my writing. Work on this community. Figure out what I want to do going forward. Maybe that's campaign work in the future when my personal life isn't so crazy. Maybe it isn't. And either way, that'll be okay. I'll be okay.

You mean the world to Ninja, Lex! Whatever you decide to do, you've got this whole community behind you. IMHO I think your choice to go part time and concentrate on you is an AWESOME idea...can't wait to see what's next for you

[Ganji]

Hello lovely

[Phara]

dammit ganji lololol... //forgives the male.

alice... that lena mantra is perfection. it all happens for a reason. it's up to you as to whether or not you use this to go all the way up or to wallow. I already know that the answer is A. We're here. No matter what.

[Ganji]

Androgynous :D

[AliceElite]

I am so exhausted. Between today and yesterday It's been a really wild emotion filled couple of days, with anger and frustration and pain and sadness and now relief and some really, really badass people behind me, I'm in a good spot.

I think I'm going to go take a nap. I'll be back on in a few hours to plan. I loveyou. Thank you.

[Gwenno]

I know how hard it must have been to reach out in here when you think that you don't belong anymore. I'm really glad that you did. I know what it's like to give your all to a job and losing people and places because of that. The people you lose aren't friends and the places were never yours to stay. Unlike ninja, here you have a solid homebase. Rant, cry, here you can. We are here for you. Further I agree on everything in the epic first post above. See? Even at your deepest you inspire people.
You even got me posting on my phone from a fever delirium. Just hang in there, I'm sure there are better things coming that deserve your committent. Hugs

[Nepherteri]

Post finished...scroll back...thank you for putting up with my 90 to nothing life...I can't wait to see what awesomeness is in store for you!!

[AliceElite]

Spoiler: show

Ok warning I will edit and add to this post several times...cause I'm Ninjaing at work...
So, I see two areas we can talk about...and unfortunately they don't always coexist harmoniously...Let's focus on Self-preservation with your current job and then we will talk about keeping your eyes open and pushing the next opportunity...
I like to say I'm a soldier of the start-over...I'll spare you the gory details of each crash and burn and rise from the ashes, but there are a few things I've learned that help me out when the going gets fucked up ugly...
1. When it FEELS like you are being forcibly ejected from your status quo...It is the Universe (feel free to insert whichever higher power you subscribe to here) begging, pleading, compelling, inexorably leading you to where you NEED to be. Usually kicking and screaming like a 2 yr old. Usually this is either for your own protection, or for your betterment...either way the transition usually isn't easy or pleasant...and then sometimes you go thru things for someone else...you are put in their path to be their guide...
2. It's easier to get a job when you HAVE a job already...seems counter intuitive but you will usually have a bit of leverage in the bargaining for your pay and benefits....so don't bail out yet...and be grateful it isn't 5 to 10 years ago when there were no jobs to GO TO...
3.Assess what you WANT to do...not what you HAVE to do...and work from there...what is your dream job...what qualities do you look for in an employer...who have you always wanted to work for? Start there...then look around you...whether you know it or not you have an enormous network of friends and associates...put some feelers out (Like you just did here)...and as long as you shake that tree of your network you'll start to see better apples of opportunity start to rain down your path...
4. Don't burn your bridges....as much as it may satisfy you right now it may bite you in the ass later...Keep your head up and leave like a queen not a jester...along with that remain humble...you never know who in that organization may have a token for you...and they ARE still part of your network
5. While in transition use it as a time to lean out your budget...make a list of what's most important...and what can wait and what's not necessary....so if in the transition you cash flow is tied up you take care of necessities only....remember this part isn't forever...
6. Make a plan for the worst if it were to happen...whatever you can conceive as the worst make a back up plan for that...have several...plan BCDFG....it will help you stay rational IF the storm does come and you won't do anything irrational or illegal just take it thru...
7.Love yourself through it all...take care of your emotional well being because it's going to take a bit of a beating...do what relaxes you...meditate spend some quiet time with yourself...it will bring you clarity and may show you the path very clearly...the God within you is waiting to guide you...listen
8.Be patient...nothing good happens over night...it has to slow marinate and slow cook...don't rush it...at the same time prepare your self to act...when stuff happens behind the scenes and opportunity knocks be prepared to move on it immediately
9.Smile it opens doors for you...a positive outlook is attractive to others and people will do things for you....swear it!! The one time I say don't follow Hana... resting bitch face scares people!!!
10. Be true to yourself...if you have done all of the above you are in a position to handle a demotion with grace and know in the end as you leave you will leave with your head up going to a better place with better opportunities...you know your sacrifices and that's all that matters...you know your worth and sell THAT to the next employer...
Love you...you got this...woman power...aruagh!!!!!

This is exactly where I am rn. EXACTLY. This is right on point. Thank you. Do much.

[Philly]

Hey just popping in to say I hope today's a bit better love.continue to stay focused & remember that you're still a bad bitch!

[AliceElite]

Better every day! I'm working on my house and trying to find the charge cord for my computer (lost in the move) but I'm gonna keep busting ass to move forward.

[Lena]

Spoiler: show

Ok warning I will edit and add to this post several times...cause I'm Ninjaing at work...
So, I see two areas we can talk about...and unfortunately they don't always coexist harmoniously...Let's focus on Self-preservation with your current job and then we will talk about keeping your eyes open and pushing the next opportunity...
I like to say I'm a soldier of the start-over...I'll spare you the gory details of each crash and burn and rise from the ashes, but there are a few things I've learned that help me out when the going gets fucked up ugly...
1. When it FEELS like you are being forcibly ejected from your status quo...It is the Universe (feel free to insert whichever higher power you subscribe to here) begging, pleading, compelling, inexorably leading you to where you NEED to be. Usually kicking and screaming like a 2 yr old. Usually this is either for your own protection, or for your betterment...either way the transition usually isn't easy or pleasant...and then sometimes you go thru things for someone else...you are put in their path to be their guide...
2. It's easier to get a job when you HAVE a job already...seems counter intuitive but you will usually have a bit of leverage in the bargaining for your pay and benefits....so don't bail out yet...and be grateful it isn't 5 to 10 years ago when there were no jobs to GO TO...
3.Assess what you WANT to do...not what you HAVE to do...and work from there...what is your dream job...what qualities do you look for in an employer...who have you always wanted to work for? Start there...then look around you...whether you know it or not you have an enormous network of friends and associates...put some feelers out (Like you just did here)...and as long as you shake that tree of your network you'll start to see better apples of opportunity start to rain down your path...
4. Don't burn your bridges....as much as it may satisfy you right now it may bite you in the ass later...Keep your head up and leave like a queen not a jester...along with that remain humble...you never know who in that organization may have a token for you...and they ARE still part of your network
5. While in transition use it as a time to lean out your budget...make a list of what's most important...and what can wait and what's not necessary....so if in the transition you cash flow is tied up you take care of necessities only....remember this part isn't forever...
6. Make a plan for the worst if it were to happen...whatever you can conceive as the worst make a back up plan for that...have several...plan BCDFG....it will help you stay rational IF the storm does come and you won't do anything irrational or illegal just take it thru...
7.Love yourself through it all...take care of your emotional well being because it's going to take a bit of a beating...do what relaxes you...meditate spend some quiet time with yourself...it will bring you clarity and may show you the path very clearly...the God within you is waiting to guide you...listen
8.Be patient...nothing good happens over night...it has to slow marinate and slow cook...don't rush it...at the same time prepare your self to act...when stuff happens behind the scenes and opportunity knocks be prepared to move on it immediately
9.Smile it opens doors for you...a positive outlook is attractive to others and people will do things for you....swear it!! The one time I say don't follow Hana... resting bitch face scares people!!!
10. Be true to yourself...if you have done all of the above you are in a position to handle a demotion with grace and know in the end as you leave you will leave with your head up going to a better place with better opportunities...you know your sacrifices and that's all that matters...you know your worth and sell THAT to the next employer...
Love you...you got this...woman power...aruagh!!!!!

This is exactly where I am rn. EXACTLY. This is right on point. Thank you. Do much.

Better every day! I'm working on my house and trying to find the charge cord for my computer (lost in the move) but I'm gonna keep busting ass to move forward.

+100000000000 to everything Nepherteri said. Sage advice!

love the attitude, Alice. Showing up and pushing forward is more than half the battle.

To all my fellow Ninjess, stay powerful this week!

[NaranjaRa]

^^ yeah. ditto for sure.
definitely some beautiful things happening in this thread.

[Orea]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't even be here. I don't deserve to come in and vent to you guys when I'm so selfish. Phara just told me to and I didn't know what else to do.

If anyone should be here, then you are that person. You're a fucking pillar of this community.

Loosing your job is nothing. Your job does not make your life. It is not what defines you. It is the thing you do to survive, to get money, to eat, to feed your children. Fucking financial interests are the reason you lost your job. Your self-worth is not in question.

You have friends. You are important. You are worth something, to many people (many of whom are on these boards, but not only).

I've never met you, we don't know each other that much, but I love you. That is all.

[AliceElite]

Literally every one of you are absolute fucking queens omg I love you.

[Orea]

So I posted just before in answer to Alice's because, you know, priorities.

Now however, I'm going to talk about little ol' me, because holy crap people, my life these days.
First of all I'm sorry for my long absence from the boards. I've been in Greece since early August, and my life has been so full that I've barely touched a computer.

As some of you may know, I'm half Greek and half French. The Greek side is on my mother, and it is something that I've always been really proud of. I've always felt "more Greek" than I did French. I don't know why. Something about the culture, the mentality... ". Anyway. Due to personal shit in my life for the past ten years, I was not able to come to Greece, let alone the island of my family, in over 13 years. I'm now 28, so that means this year is the first time I experience my island and my country as an adult. As you can imagine, it is something else entirely from the trips I used to take as a child with my parents.

The other thing you need to know is that I never did relationships. I've been sexually active for over 10 years, but I never wanted or felt like getting in any kind of relationship, with either man or woman. I was always happy (or so I thought) fucking some random person for the night and leaving before the sun is up. No complication. No risk.

Here though... I met someone. He's older than me (by 12 years). He's also my cousin (4th degree, so it's not like we're closely related or anything), but the whole "we have the same family name" is kinda weirding me out. I'm getting over it though.
Anyway. I'm in love. For the first time in my life, I found something more. He's fucking devoted to me, even though he is what you would call 'a tough guy', he's fucking butter when it comes to me. And you know the funny thing... All those years I was fucking those random guys, and feeling proud about it because I saw myself as a "liberated woman" (even though I was not enjoying the sex that much... it was just something that I did, basically), now that I'm with him, I fucking feel what I missed. I feel like I was not respecting myself back then. I do with him. He's not exactly what you would call a good person, but he is good to me, and for me.

I'm fucking afraid because I've never been through this before. I don't know what it means, how long it's going to last, and for now I'm opting for the philosophy of "live and let live". Carpe Diem motherfucker, I'll see where this takes me. I don't see myself moving here full time (I'm buying a house here, but only for holidays and to get closer to family). The winter here is a fucking nightmare, and it is a small island, so the community is very closed, and very intense (think Amish traditions like, with the cocktails and sunny beaches as an added bonus). There are many other issues, like the fact that he's recently divorced, with two relatively young kids which I haven't met yet. Don't know if I want to, at least for now. Ugh.

Anyway. Just wanted to share the news with everyone: I'm happy.

[AliceElite]

So I posted just before in answer to Alice's because, you know, priorities.

Now however, I'm going to talk about little ol' me, because holy crap people, my life these days.
First of all I'm sorry for my long absence from the boards. I've been in Greece since early August, and my life has been so full that I've barely touched a computer.

As some of you may know, I'm half Greek and half French. The Greek side is on my mother, and it is something that I've always been really proud of. I've always felt "more Greek" than I did French. I don't know why. Something about the culture, the mentality... ". Anyway. Due to personal shit in my life for the past ten years, I was not able to come to Greece, let alone the island of my family, in over 13 years. I'm now 28, so that means this year is the first time I experience my island and my country as an adult. As you can imagine, it is something else entirely from the trips I used to take as a child with my parents.

The other thing you need to know is that I never did relationships. I've been sexually active for over 10 years, but I never wanted or felt like getting in any kind of relationship, with either man or woman. I was always happy (or so I thought) fucking some random person for the night and leaving before the sun is up. No complication. No risk.

Here though... I met someone. He's older than me (by 12 years). He's also my cousin (4th degree, so it's not like we're closely related or anything), but the whole "we have the same family name" is kinda weirding me out. I'm getting over it though.
Anyway. I'm in love. For the first time in my life, I found something more. He's fucking devoted to me, even though he is what you would call 'a tough guy', he's fucking butter when it comes to me. And you know the funny thing... All those years I was fucking those random guys, and feeling proud about it because I saw myself as a "liberated woman" (even though I was not enjoying the sex that much... it was just something that I did, basically), now that I'm with him, I fucking feel what I missed. I feel like I was not respecting myself back then. I do with him. He's not exactly what you would call a good person, but he is good to me, and for me.

I'm fucking afraid because I've never been through this before. I don't know what it means, how long it's going to last, and for now I'm opting for the philosophy of "live and let live". Carpe Diem motherfucker, I'll see where this takes me. I don't see myself moving here full time (I'm buying a house here, but only for holidays and to get closer to family). The winter here is a fucking nightmare, and it is a small island, so the community is very closed, and very intense (think Amish traditions like, with the cocktails and sunny beaches as an added bonus). There are many other issues, like the fact that he's recently divorced, with two relatively young kids which I haven't met yet. Don't know if I want to, at least for now. Ugh.

Anyway. Just wanted to share the news with everyone: I'm happy.

Ahhhh I'm soooooooOOoOOOOOO happy to hear this from you. Take time to meet his kids - as someone with a kid, it says a lot more if you say "I'd like to wait to meet them for x y and z reason, but I care about you a lot and I think I would really like to meet them eventually" because it shows that the person respects me and my child and doesn't want to hurt them or create difficult situations for me to navigate as a parent.

Being a casual sex only person is great but it is DIFFERENT than being in a relationship - they each have pros and cons and it really depends on what you need/want/have space for in your life. I'm happy that you've found what it sounds like your life needs.

okay tho real talk now that you're happy you're gonna hang out with us more and brag right cause I wanna hear more about how happy people are.

[girlapaloo]

Spoiler: show

So I posted just before in answer to Alice's because, you know, priorities.

Now however, I'm going to talk about little ol' me, because holy crap people, my life these days.
First of all I'm sorry for my long absence from the boards. I've been in Greece since early August, and my life has been so full that I've barely touched a computer.

As some of you may know, I'm half Greek and half French. The Greek side is on my mother, and it is something that I've always been really proud of. I've always felt "more Greek" than I did French. I don't know why. Something about the culture, the mentality... ". Anyway. Due to personal shit in my life for the past ten years, I was not able to come to Greece, let alone the island of my family, in over 13 years. I'm now 28, so that means this year is the first time I experience my island and my country as an adult. As you can imagine, it is something else entirely from the trips I used to take as a child with my parents.

The other thing you need to know is that I never did relationships. I've been sexually active for over 10 years, but I never wanted or felt like getting in any kind of relationship, with either man or woman. I was always happy (or so I thought) fucking some random person for the night and leaving before the sun is up. No complication. No risk.

Here though... I met someone. He's older than me (by 12 years). He's also my cousin (4th degree, so it's not like we're closely related or anything), but the whole "we have the same family name" is kinda weirding me out. I'm getting over it though.
Anyway. I'm in love. For the first time in my life, I found something more. He's fucking devoted to me, even though he is what you would call 'a tough guy', he's fucking butter when it comes to me. And you know the funny thing... All those years I was fucking those random guys, and feeling proud about it because I saw myself as a "liberated woman" (even though I was not enjoying the sex that much... it was just something that I did, basically), now that I'm with him, I fucking feel what I missed. I feel like I was not respecting myself back then. I do with him. He's not exactly what you would call a good person, but he is good to me, and for me.

I'm fucking afraid because I've never been through this before. I don't know what it means, how long it's going to last, and for now I'm opting for the philosophy of "live and let live". Carpe Diem motherfucker, I'll see where this takes me. I don't see myself moving here full time (I'm buying a house here, but only for holidays and to get closer to family). The winter here is a fucking nightmare, and it is a small island, so the community is very closed, and very intense (think Amish traditions like, with the cocktails and sunny beaches as an added bonus). There are many other issues, like the fact that he's recently divorced, with two relatively young kids which I haven't met yet. Don't know if I want to, at least for now. Ugh.

Anyway. Just wanted to share the news with everyone: I'm happy.

Hooray, glad to see you in here again Orea! Especially under the circumstances
Thanks for keeping us updated and sharing the happy

[Orea]

Thank you girls

Ahhhh I'm soooooooOOoOOOOOO happy to hear this from you. Take time to meet his kids - as someone with a kid, it says a lot more if you say "I'd like to wait to meet them for x y and z reason, but I care about you a lot and I think I would really like to meet them eventually" because it shows that the person respects me and my child and doesn't want to hurt them or create difficult situations for me to navigate as a parent.

Oh I totally do want to meet his kids, at some point. I'm just not really ready for it, I still have to acclimate myself to the idea of being in a relationship. The other thing is that he just recently divorced (like, 2 or 3 months) and I'm not sure the kids fully realize what is happening yet. Until I'm sure, I don't want to add to a possibly already traumatizing time for them...

[AliceElite]

Yeah, definitely take your time and wait until it feels right.